Pregnancy

The 6 Stages of Labour and Birth

6

My honest take on my labour and birth experience. I appreciate that each woman’s individual experience will be different to the next. So here is mine…

I wrote this blog post while the memory was still quite fresh in my mind. It was only 8 weeks since I had my second baby and although this time round “the fear” was leaving me much quicker than it did with my first (it took me almost a year to ‘forget’ how terrifying that was!) the memory was still fresh enough to know that I don’t want to do it again any time soon!

This is based on MY personal experience. That’s the beauty of labour and birth, each persons experience of it is so unique. While I’m sure some people will think “mine was nothing like that…”, I’m positive others will relate.


pregnancy

The first stage

“Oh my goodness, yay! Baby time!”

The excitement hits you, you feel that first little cramp, your waters break and we’re off! Oh how excited and naive you are, you can do this no problem!


The second stage

“Ok, so yes this hurts now, but really it’s not that bad, I don’t know what everyone complains about this is fine…”

You’re still clueless as to what is to come, you think it’s kind of a breeze really. You can TOTALLY do this! You’ve got this contraction thing down, easy.


The third stage

“Don’t touch me, don’t talk to me, don’t breathe near me, don’t look at me, help me!!!”

You’re in ‘established labour’ as they call it. It’s all come out of nowhere, what is this?! You are in the zone now, they ask if you want gas and air, you think “why are you asking me this and why isn’t it in my damn mouth already!!!”. Now the fun begins.


The fourth stage

I’M. ON. FIIIIIIIIRRRRRREEEEEEE!!!!!”

The heads coming. The heads almost out. You have no words. Beast mode is on. Now the shoulders…”what the……FFFFF**************K?!?!?!?”. Oh.


The fifth stage

“Thank God that’s over….wait what?!?”

Oh it’s so not over…nobody told you about this part. You have to start pushing again, you have to get the placenta out. Woohoo! It’s out…now it’s all over……nope not yet!! The stirrups come out, legs go up, and your midwife is coming toward you, wheeling her little trolley of sharp instruments intended for your lady garden. Oh God…the fear is coming again! This is an entirely different experience….I can’t even…..


The sixth stage

It’s over I did it, oh my goodness, I might go for a sleep now….*baby starts crying*…oh wait…I’m a parent now!”

The relief is unbelievable, you feel like the most powerful woman alive, you totally didn’t know you could do that. You did it though, and you are certain you don’t want to do it again anytime soon…(even though I did!). Just wait until you stand up…that’s another story!


But in the end, it’s all worth it…right?

 

birth and family

Skint Momma xx

0 comment

Shh…we aren’t allowed to talk about it.

I must pre warn you, this isn’t a cheerful post. But, what I want to talk about is a very real occurrence in the lives of so many women.

It is one of those taboo subjects that we are often too scared to tell others about, for the fear of reliving the pain all over again. I want to talk about it because it has been exactly a year since it happened to me.

That subject is miscarriage.

So many painful memories in just a word. A word that I rarely say, I feel if i say it out loud then I would be allowing myself to be vulnerable to the emotional tornado that I was inside at that very moment when I heard the words, “I’m sorry but you have lost it this time…”……I can’t remember any words I was told after that. I was numb.

Miscarriage is something that is so common, yet it is so devastating. So devastating for the woman suffering through it. The woman expected to pick herself up, shake it off and try again. It never gets easier to accept.

Regardless of whether you go on to have another baby or not, the pain stays with you. You always wonder what might have been. The day comes along that you should have been due to have your baby and it feels like it is happening all over again.

The thing about it is, even if you talk about it, you still feel so alone. This is your journey, it feels like everybody else are just bystanders.

No matter how far along you were, no matter how irrelevant some people think it was, to you it was everything.

The amazing thing about women is though…we are warriors. We go through so much and we deal with it, we deal with it so well.

If you cried for 6 months, you dealt with it so well.

If you were back in work the next week, you dealt with it so well.

We are all unique and we all deal with this kind of personal tragedy differently. But, we see the light at the end of the tunnel. Eventually.

For me, I am quite an open person and for the first time in my life I felt I needed to close myself in. Not say a word about it. If it came up in conversation, I had to downplay how I REALLY felt about it. I didn’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable of course…

WHY? Why did I not be honest? Why didn’t I break down more, I always wanted to.

I didn’t want anybody to think I was weak, or unappreciative of the child I already had.

This is why I want to talk about it now, because so many women have suffered and are still hurting. You just can’t see it. They are warriors, they are always fighting inside. Holding it together.

It’s okay if you want to talk about it, because it was real. It was yours.

shhh

Skint Momma xx

 

0 comment